You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Randomize
