i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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