i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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