I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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