Non-Jews are for practice
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
