Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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