its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize