I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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