I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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