I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
We left an ass print on the piano.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
