everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
She's not a foreskin expert like you
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
