We won't sleep together?
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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