he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize