what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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