ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
