I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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