I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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