my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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