I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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