I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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