I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Everything about him screamed your future.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I came so hard my ears popped.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
