She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Green mimosas i think yes
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
