You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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