his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
