Yo dont text me then not text me
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize