Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
