They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
