Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
