so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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