I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
