The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
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