God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
