there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
