I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
