Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
