then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Drunk is a universal language darling
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