I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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