Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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