I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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