Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
