Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
