pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
