Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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