How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
