i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Randomize
