Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
