No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
