like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
