Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
where am i from again
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Randomize