I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
