white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
