You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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