It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
