I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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