so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
We are all done wearing pants today
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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