sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
