At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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